Assignment for 22nd of June 2011

Synopsis: 
i was to write an essay about my likes & dislikes, both in life, in general as well as kink-wise. What i like/dislike in the world of sex etc. If there any acts that i particularly like or hate.  Lastly i was to outline my sexuality & sexual history.


Assignment:
To start with my likes and dislikes in life, i always enjoy lifes ever searching quest for knowledge. i enjoy knowing i learn something each day, and try to keep finding new things to learn each day. i enjoy how each day life can be different, always seeming to keep you on your feet. Never exactly knowing what is to come, if anything even comes, when it comes and what it could be. Its always somewhat different. i always enjoy trying to make someone(s) smile each day, trying to brighten peoples day with maybe just a comment, or even a joke.
My dislikes to life  are i guess sometimes it seems to drag. The uncertainty of tomorrow, although i said i like it i hate it at the same time. How life sometimes seem to stall or be stagnant. i hate how it seems when things go wrong, everything goes wrong, although i think its just perception. i always try to not look at the dislikes in life, and concentrate on the people around me, friends, family, etc. They always seem to make my life a great deal better, through all the bad and good.
My likes and dislikes of the BDSM lifestyle...
i guess the biggest thing i love of the kink/ bdsm lifestyle is that the relationship is built on trust. i love how the sub gives their submission to the Dom/me and in turn for their guidance, instruction, trust and their love. i love the control. As a Domme i loved the devotion, trust and power. As a submissive i love being able to just give myself to one i trust, to trust their each wish, and command. i truly love how they bring out emotional responses, some of which normally is not sexy, but when drawn out with a specific kink can be beautiful and sexy. i love how it can be on so many levels, emotionally and physically, how there are so many things that can be done as activities.
My dislikes to the lifestyle are pretty simple, those who do not respect or abuse the lifestyle to hurt others or themselves. How some use it for their own gain. i have always had a belief that true bdsm is beautiful and cannot be counted in dollars. i dislike how it is deemed to be perverted and "bad". The image is always in bad light, and should not be as it is commonly misunderstood.
My sexuality, i say i am kind of bi, and kind of lesbian. i have been bi since i have been 15, but since about 24 i have really not dated any men, and i have not even missed them. i have found women to be more pleasing as i feel a woman knows how to please a woman easier. Its the same how i feel for a Domme, how i feel a domme would know how to Domme a subby girl more than a Dom. How she would know their capabilities, and limits. i would not classify myself as a full lesbian though as i know i would sleep with men, although i think more if the Domme instructs me to do so.
i am going to go over my history before my likes and dislikes as i feel my history will reveal more into the likes and dislikes. my first sexual experience was with a boy at age 13. He was my boyfriend at the time, and was 15. After about a month of dating i went to his place after a movie since his parents were not home. i was scared and pretty much just laid on his bed naked and he did all the work. i remember it hurt and that it did not last too long, just about 5-10 minutes. my first bi experience happened when i was 14, just a few weeks shy of 15 with my friend. Her and i had come to my house after school. While home watching TV, we discovered my father had left an adult video in the VCR. When we put it on we saw 2 girls doing things to each other and we decided to go to my room and try out what we saw. We continued to keep experimenting for 2 hours or so until my family got home.
For many years sine my first bi experience i began to what i call "slut out". i was young and a bit of a brat, i began sleeping with boys and girls randomly for years. i was trying to act out. i slept with girls and boys, sometimes with more than 1 partner. Once i slept with 2 men at the same time. i had been with up to 3 people at the same time all before i had gotten to 18. my first anal was pretty bad, i was basically raped by my bf at the time. i was about 16 when this happened.This time he pretended he accidentally pushed it to the wrong hole, however when i said stop he pinned me down and kept going. Fortunately for me he didn't last too long, only 2 minutes maximum. And When he ended i did yell and make fun of him for lacking in size lol. i did not wind up liking anal until i got into my first D/s relationship.
My first D/s happened when i was 18-20. i met this girl at my job at a movie theater who was half japanese, and a year younger than me. Within a month of dating she became my girlfriend, and after 3 months of dating we began to experiment and research things about bdsm. We started small with trying up and spanking. We eventually went on to buying toys, which turned into my hobby lol. Tried different fetishes like outdoor, fisting, enemas etc. She wound up growing more dominant as i became the submissive without even knowing our full roles, just letting them grow on us. Our relationship ended only due to her move for school, she had to move to Boston, and now lives there for work.
My next major relationship, which i consider my first real grown up relationship came when i was 21/22 to this tall blonde girl i met at my friend's college. We had dated for almost 2 years. From my D/s relationship to this one i feel is when i gave up my "slut out" ways and became more of an adult. i got her into bdsm and started to discover my Domme ways. i discovered more into bdsm and began to understand how it was more than just sex. We eventually grew apart as i wanted to get more into bdsm and she wanted to get more into family. We would eventually break up, but this relationship did lead me into not dating men anymore as i felt it was kind of my clean slate away from my slutty years.
After that relationship i dated only women, and went more into becoming a Domme. i had 2 submissive gf's, had 2 different online ones and had trained s subby girls in person. My submissive side had died with my first D/s relationship until my 2nd subby girl. i did tell Miss all about what happened in that relationship and how that one led to me rediscovering my submissive side.
Why do i like sex, i like it because i feel it is pleasurable for both parties. How it can be loving, how it can be very animalistic and adventurous. i also love the pleasure of it *blushes* What i dislike of sex is how it can dominate peoples lives like it did me, how i got lost in it and became fixated with it. i hate how sex can change a relationship or how people perceive another.
My likes and hates for sex lol...hmmmm...where to start. i guess i will start with my limits which are pretty much my hates. i don't like blood, permanent marks, scat, pee, amputation, snuff, animals and feet. Ewwww feet, i cannot stand, i don't know why i just don't like it at all ewwwwwww. My likes are a bit more vast, and i don't even know all my likes as i love to experiment with things and discover more of myself. i know for a fact i love humiliation, anal (so that cucumber in the butt i would loveee), fisting, stockings, dressing up, puppy play, age play (including diapers), enemas and others lol.
i also have this one fetish i developed as Domme, i am loving shaving a sub's hair, all of it including eye brows. To me a girl without any hair can be sooo beautiful, and its an ultimate sign of submission to a Domme. Also its a sign of their new life as that Domme's property. much like how a baby comes into the world and grows hair, the sub does the same in this life. i am not really a pain slut but can take much punishment for a Domme's pleasure although if it is punishment i can promise i would take it as such and not as a treat. i know i probably have more likes and hates but i cannot seem to think them out right now.